Today I’m writing about how life has its ups and downs but as long as we remember ‘I can handle it’ we will get through anything.
I haven’t written for a while, to be honest this last month has been a bit of a roller-coaster for me. We had a very sad and tragic death in the family before Christmas, my cousin died age 45, and around the same time, a close friend had a serious diagnoses and then the usual stuff over Christmas, sickness in the house, vomiting bugs and now vertigo for me! On the plus side we had a lovely Christmas and New Year, some lovely lazy days, which were needed, and a few exciting ones too.
Isn’t that what life is like most of time? There are ups and downs, overall hopefully more ups… but when the ‘downs’ happen they can engulf us and our thoughts for a long time. As humans we are amazing really, we can adapt to the worst of circumstances, we learn to carry on, to pick up our lives.. sometimes we have no choice as our families, or work, financial commitments, all need us to keep going. If we are not coping, I truly believe that talking is the best therapy in the world. It doesn’t matter who it is… a good friend or family member, a pair of kind ears can make the world a better place.
I love the affirmation ‘I’ll handle it’ I share this when coaching kids and teenagers. (I took it from the book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.) Because whatever happens, if your worst nightmares come true, you know deep down inside that you have the resilience and human instinct to handle it and continue on.
I shared an article on facebook recently by Richard Branson called ‘My Tips for Happiness in 2018‘. I know what you’re thinking, yeah its easy for Richard Branson, he is a multi millionaire, he is involved in 200 companies and has a Caribbean island. But his point was that none of the wealth or possessions are what truly counts for happiness, happiness for him, is in the here and now, holding a small child’s hand, watching the sun set or the birds fly, all the little things that we should consciously pause and enjoy. “So many people get caught up in doing what they think will make them happy but, in my opinion, this is where they fail. Happiness is not about doing, it’s about being. In order to be happy, you need to think consciously about it. Don’t forget the to-do list, but remember to write a to-be list too.”
I was also touched by an Australian woman, Holly Butcher age 27. She died on 4th January this year, from cancer and took to social media the day before she died and told the world ‘Each day is a gift’. We forget how lucky we are, until we hear stories such as this, not to mention Delores O’Riordan dying age 46 alone in a Hotel room. Gratitude is so important and one that I try to instil in my own children. Here are a few more of Holly’s words of wisdom:
“I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.”
I like to set goals each year, (New Years Resolutions are a waste of time as far as I’m concerned, but with goals you have 12 months!) and I’ve had the same one for a couple of years now, to write an online confidence course for kids/teens – and thankfully its nearly done. So even though I don’t always reach my goal it helps me move in the right direction. So I challenge any of you interested… to set yourselves at least one goal for the year of 2018… Just one. It can be big or small.. but just make sure its important to you. And it doesn’t even matter if it doesn’t all go to plan, once it moves you in the direction you want to go. I asked my kids if they wanted to set a goal for 2018 (the 7 and 8 year old girls) and they looked at me blankly! I then changed the question to ‘Is there anything new you really want to try or do this year?’ That was more practical, we got further with that question. Some teenagers can have more specific goals in relation to exams and careers. Its no harm introducing the idea early on in life, so that life doesn’t just happen to us.. we direct our life in the direction we want to go.
Another goal of mine is to help as many kids and teenagers as possible so I’m writing another blog very soon, and giving away 2 of my guided meditations, called ‘Exam Stress’ and ‘Study Motivation’. They are designed to help students facing exams (especially with Mock exams almost upon us.) I spent a lot of time making them and would love if they helped with some of the stress our teens are facing.
Top Tips to share with kids and teens:
- Enjoy the ups of life – savour every moment.
- Ask for help with the downs – as they say ‘no man is an island’. Talking really helps.
- Hard times will come, life can be unfair but you can handle it.
- Don’t forget to consciously decide to be happy every day.
- Try not to worry or obsess about the small things, material things, cosmetic things – life is too short.
- Be grateful for all the good things, great people and love you have in your life.
- Set yourself a goal every year and make sure its something important to you.
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Thanks everyone for reading, sharing, liking and commenting on my blogs. You have inspired me more than you know to keep doing what I’m doing.
Happy New Year to you and all your families!