How to Find Happiness - The Confidence Clinic

How to Find Happiness


HappinessEver feel like doing something good or helping others out and then when you find an opportunity to do it, you feel delighted with yourself, over the moon even!

It may just be a small thing like carrying a bag for someone, helping someone across a road, opening a door, a smile, but it can leave you feeling very pleased with yourself.

Some people say the only way to find true happiness is to make others happy and help them out. Here is a quote to think about:

“Happiness is a hard thing because it is only achieved by making others happy”                                                                                          Stuart Cloete.

Well, do you agree?


Material things generally don’t make us feel happy for very long, as we eventually just move onto the next thing we want. Other people can’t make us happy long term, because we can’t control what they say or do, if they stay or go, live or die. Our jobs may be a source of happiness for some, but again there is only so much control we can have on what we do for a living, we may lose our business/job or things may change dramatically, or there may be part of the job we might hate, there is no guarantee or constant. A holiday may make us happy for a while, but have you ever been somewhere and not enjoyed it or been in a bad mood? Our problems or issues don’t go away because we are in a nice place.


Or do you find happiness in other things, in the everyday. I think there is happiness to be found by ourselves when we can believe in positive thoughts about ourselves, also when we’re in the company of positive people, that we are close to, and we are relaxed, chatting, laughing… also when we can enjoy the beauty in the world around us, a walk by the sea or some blooming flowers in Spring. But all of this is short lived.


Here is another quote:


“Before befriending others, you have to be your own best friend

Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself

Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy

It is not termed as selfish, but personal development.

Once you balance yourself,

Only then can you balance the world…”                                                                                                                                             


Happiness comes from within ourselves, and we must find that happiness or peace, possibly through accepting ourselves, being nice to ourselves, realising how full of potential we are, and only then should we even think about making others happy.
Some of you may say well I am pretty happy, I’m fine and I don’t need to do any of this soul searching stuff – life is okay. That’s fantastic… if you are truly already happy with yourself. Here is a test to check your happiness… do you allow yourself to get upset when someone says something negative to you or does something to you, that wasn’t very nice? If this happens, do you take offence and take it personally? When you can let go of what others think about you, it is a liberating feeling. You no longer concern yourself with ‘he said’ ‘she said’ and ‘did he mean that or this’ etc. The other person has there own ‘stuff’ going on in their own head, and it probably has nothing to do with you really.


The most important thoughts you will have in your life are those thoughts about yourself. So if you are being hard on yourself in any way, if the voice in your head (your own critical self) is mean and not being a comforting best friend then you do have some work to do on yourself, and you will find a lot of happiness when you find this ‘self love’.


We do need to love ourselves before others; otherwise we are trying to find happiness externally from others, when they may or may not want it, or may not react in the way we had hoped… there is no constant in life other than ourselves. We must find the love within and then let it spread from there. Then the acts of helping others are done from a warm happy comfortable place, where the reaction or thanks from the other person, is not the point – the simple act of helping is the reason you are doing it.

Caoimhe O’Grady Tegart – Author, Life Coach, Speaker

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